I was chatting with a stranger recently who asked what my goals were — not for today or tomorrow, but in the long run. My response was almost instantaneous. Become a published author. Start my own magazine. Found a literacy non-profit.
After the conversation ended, the past seven months replayed on fast-forward through my mind. I hadn’t done anything to help realize my goals. I dream of sending a novel or a book of short stories into the world… but where was that reflected in my day-to-day?
Writing this newsletter has benefits I’ll continue to see as long as I keep at it, but I’d lost sight of that tangible product I could one day hold in my hand. I was doing creative projects here and there, but not the things that would materialize as a book — my own personal version of success.
After discussing this fiction lull with my friend Lisa, she asked if I’d like to participate in a virtual writing session. “I would love that!!” I texted back, hoping my excitement was adequately conveyed. I made a note on my calendar and then began to block off hours dedicated to writing on other days. If I did not make the time, I would not find the time.
So last Saturday I dusted off my dad’s electric Olympia typewriter from the seventies, a behemoth that has been lurking in my apartment untouched for three years, and began to write. Distraction-free. The low hum and clack-clack-clack of the keys were enough to keep me typing for hours, but there was nothing more satisfying than putting in a fresh piece of paper and ripping it off the machine dappled with words.
There might be things you regret. Things you haven’t done, never did, won’t do. These regrets might make success seem unattainable. But the idea of success is a valley we fall into. At times it feels like we cannot trek to the mountain peaks of accomplishment. They appear impossible to reach. But haven’t there also been instances when you hunkered down and did the damn thing, committed, really dedicated yourself to something, only to finish and realize it’s not what you want anymore? Is that success?
Reassessing my priorities took only minutes. It was the best thing I’ve done all quarantine.
If you’re discouraged that you haven’t been “productive” in these trying times, don’t be. You may already be on the path to success — you just have to define it for yourself.
Exterior Explorations
Things to read, cook and contemplate this weekend. 🤔
I Called Mine Beautiful by Rebekah Taussig (Florida Review)
After reading the first line of Taussig’s essay about desire, objectification and her relationship with her disability, I was hooked.
Little Beast by C Pam Zhang (BOMB Magazine)
A haunting short story to put you in spooky spirits.
Your Local Bookstore Wants You to Know That It’s Struggling by Elizabeth A. Harris (NY Times)
If there were ever a time to purchase books in person, it’s now. (Just don’t forget to wear a mask.)
How the Black Panthers’ Breakfast Program Both Inspired and Threatened the Government by Erin Blakemore (History)
The Black Panthers’ “Free Breakfast for School Children Program” was a social service that has left a lasting impact on this country.
What’s cooking? 🍳 Sharing some of my favorite recently discovered recipes with you since I’ve been doing lots of cooking this year. For breakfast, I’ve been enjoying this blueberry oatmeal with lemon zest. The vegan chickpea avocado salad sandwich from Home-Cooked Roots was so delicious I made it for dinner two nights in a row. And this cilantro-lime seared halibut was SO flavorful… I subbed in white wine vinegar since I didn’t have white wine on hand, and it gave the dish a real zing.
Currently reading… 📖 Tender at the Bone: Growing Up at the Table by Ruth Reichl, a chef, restaurant critic and food writer (I have food on the brain, obviously). It ran out of steam a bit in the middle, but her memoir includes recipes for devil’s food cake and fried chicken that I am dying to test out for myself. Reichl also recently published another memoir about her time as Editor-in-Chief of Gourmet Magazine, and I’m interested to see how she weaves her editorial experiences with her adventures in cuisine.
What have you been eating and reading lately?
Advice of the day: Once you’ve subscribed, add interiormonologue@substack.com to your contacts so these emails don’t hit your promotions tab or spam folder!
Noe, so glad to hear you're making time for writing! Yay!